Tips to Improve Your Child's Behavior

Many parents with a young child at one time or another have thrown up their hands, rolled their eyes and said, "What am I going to do with my child? His school has been calling, telling me how much trouble he is. And he's so hyperactive, even his grandparents won't babysit him. I'll never get him to behave."

What these parents may not realize is that there are things they can do to reduce their child's hyperactivity, without sacrificing the natural energy, playfulness and sense of wonder unique in every child.

Following are a few tips to help improve your child's behavior:

Reduce stimulation and increase structure. Too much activity and too little structure will cause acting out behavior in your child. Consider restricting television time, for example, and blocking out a "play period" with Mom and Dad. Or sign him up for some out-of-home sports and recreation. Activities like these not only give your child something to look forward to, but also impose structure on his day, and provide an outlet for his high energy level.

Spell out rules in advance. Explain to your child in terms she can understand exactly what you expect and what the consequences will be when their behavior is "out of line". Some parents arrange a "signal" with their child, to warn her when she begins to misbehave. Once the warning is given though, it is important for parents to enforce the rules consistently. Never fight or negotiate with your child over the rules you've established—you'll lose.

Don't say yes when you mean no. Very often, when a child begs and pleads, cries and whines, shouts and throws temper tantrums, parents wear down and give in to their child, especially when they are tired after a long day of work. When this happens, it teaches the child that you can be manipulated. Again, it is important to always enforce the rules consistently, even when you are tired.

Don't fight or argue in front of your child. Your child will copy your behavior when interacting with other children and adults. While it's not always easy, try to resolve your household conflicts with calm conversation and compromise.

Catch your child at being good. Too often, many parents focus on criticizing a child's weak points and forget to encourage her strengths. Praise your child for good behavior, such as when she's cleaned up her toys or played nicely with other children. Praise not only instills a sense of pride in the child, but it also eases the "training" process, when you're trying to teach good behavior in different situations.

Teach by example. Emphasize positive moral and spiritual values through your own everyday living. When parents take a "do as I say, not as I do" approach to raising children, they only confuse the positive lessons they are trying to teach. Instead, make a strong effort to teach your children by example.

Avoid caffeine and sugar-saturated foods. Improper nutrition and food sensitivities can increase hyperactivity. Instead, encourage your child to eat well-balanced meals. Eat together as a family. Not only does it stimulate communication, but it also teaches children proper nutrition and eating habits.

Get to know your child's teacher and/or counselor. By developing a working relationship with your child's teacher at the beginning of the school year, and checking in periodically, you can work as a team to monitor and take action on your child's problems and progress.

Teach your child deep breathing and relaxation techniques. Many hyperactive children get upset and lose emotional control very easily. To help them deal with these stressful feelings, learn a few relaxation techniques, and teach your child how to do them by practicing together. One technique works like this: Slowly inhale. As you breathe in, expand your stomach and then your chest to the count of three. Pay attention to slow, deep, smooth and steady inhalation. Then, as you breath out, exhale slowly and deeply, deflating your stomach. Choose a relaxing word or phrase that you repeat as you exhale. Do this with your child when he is angry or upset. It will help both of you regain and retain control of his and your emotions, so you can deal with the situation calmly.

Finally, if your child's hyperactivity problems persist, do not immediately assume your child needs drugs to correct his behavior. While drug treatment is appropriate in some cases, many children can learn to control their hyperactivity using other methods under the direction of an experienced therapist. Before resorting to drugs, seek out alternatives such as counseling, biofeedback and/or dietary changes.